Leaving Brazil is a lot harder than leaving any other country in which I've lived. I can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it's because I had such a challenge here with learning a new language so that I could communicate, or maybe it's because here is where I began a life with my husband, or maybe it's because the Brazilians & Expat friends I have met here have been so caring that I've never felt alone or sad. For whatever reason, I'm sad to be leaving this part of the world where I learned so much, struggled so much, and felt so much love.
There were many times of frustration. Trying to make a joke on stage in Portuguese (listen when people tell you not to joke in another language!), trying to even get a gig when you are just learning the language (no gift of the gab there...not even kissing the blarney stone will help), reading the audience when they are all busy kissing (yes, PDA is very accepted here!)
On top of that, just adjusting to differences in your daily life. Driving here is like being in a real life video game...seriously it's a sport. And the red light, it is basically just advice. Driving at night on my on as a girl is not a smart move because it's too dangerous (it doesn't feel so good when you don't have all that independence anymore).
Of course, the good has far outweighed those frustrations. I learned to accept help (no man is an island). This partly came from marrying a Latino because he has that desire to take care of me...and of course I'm stubborn and a very independent American girl...so this took a while. Finally, I accepted that it would be okay to have help. (And now I love it!)
I've also met some amazing people and made lifelong friendships. This is something I could write about forever because I truly value the friends I have here and they will forever remain in my heart. Without these friends, I don't think I would have ever survived even two months here, let alone almost three years.
I also faced the challenge of learning a language for the sake of communicating rather than for the sake of preserving the beauty and meaning through song. This is a big difference. Learning Scottish Gaelic was never a necessity, but just a passion. I never had to worry about really communicating any complex thoughts or ideas with Gaelic. However, living here, I've had to make sure I was understood on certain things, and make sure I understood what was being told to me. This is especially important for things like the the doctor's office, directions, and business negotiations. I still can't speak as well I would like, but I did my best and I'm proud of what I've been able to accomplish.
It's hard to sum up my time here and all the experiences I've had living in Porto Alegre. I know I will miss this beautiful place with amazing sunsets and beautiful days in the moinhos park.
I know I will miss all the people who have become an integral part of my life. I also know that I'm a better person because I lived here and I'll treasure all the special moments in my heart forever.
Tchau sounds too relaxed, Goodbye sounds too final...I'll miss you Porto Alegre.
1 comment:
And we will miss you too :-(
I feel totally the same way as you do even though we aren't leaving before June - but the mourning has started!
We'll see each other somewhere!
Bjs, Cathrine
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